World Naked Bike Ride Survival Guide - 10 Tips for Biking in Your Birthday Suit
- Sep 17, 2015
- 6 min read
The first World Naked Bike Ride was in London in 2004 and the second ride followed one week later in Spain. There were naked cycling events prior to 2004 in Spain, Germany and even a U.S. group called the Freemont Riders held naked cycling events in Seattle. The events are activists’ events and the act of being naked is to protest something, body shaming or pollution. That’s why media and internet sources don’t usually censor ride photos with nudity or participants don’t face charges. Several people (or thousands) nude in protest is viewed differently by state and local laws than acts like streaking or lewd naked behavior. Prior to 2004 the largest naked ride was in Canada. Artists Against War was the club promoting the event and they hired a man named Conrad Scmidt to produce the events. With great support from participants and clubs Schmidt organized his own World Naked Bike Ride in 2004. Today the events are in several U.S. cities and over fifty countries worldwide.
The largest World Naked Bike Ride in the U.S. is held in Portland, Oregon. There were 125 riders in 2004 and 10,000 in 2014. There is currently speculation that the event’s 2015 numbers might make it the largest in the world and my wife and I were there…in our birthday suits. Usually personal stuff is left out of articles like this but our body types and their stark differences allowed us to take in the event from different ends of a spectrum. I am very large. Although I’m average height I am very wide, thick and overweight weighing in at 260. I have not cut my dark greying hair or shaved in years and I look very aggressive. My wife on the other hand is very beautiful and her demeanor is welcoming. She has dark hair, blue eyes and a warm smile, she is actually only pounds from being half my size and is very fit. Although married for 20 years neither of us wear wedding rings. We spent time together and on our own at the event
The World Naked Bike Ride events commonly protest things like dependence on crude oil and body shaming. The cycles promote human generated power and love of the environment while the nudity promotes human generated acceptance and love of the body. However, even with all this warm fuzzy hippie love stuff, being naked in full light is a problem for some people just with an intimate partner and thought of baring it all in front of thousands ranks in the top three of people’s worst nightmares. For us the ride was exciting, uplifting, enlightening, funny and scary all at the same time. Given the chance again we would mount up Full Monty in a second and you should too, no bucket list is complete if a World Naked Bike Ride is not on it. There are many things we would do very different next time and what we learned from our adventure compared to our expectations might help others to bare it all on a bike a little better.
10 TIPS FOR WORLD NAKED BIKING
1. Pack Light We are coastal climate orientated, 80 degrees is hot for us while 40 is freezing. We planned to stay all night for the after party so we took clothes in a back pack. The pack was uncomfortable and we never wore the clothes. Essentials are all you need, think keys and wallet or clip. A small bike bag is sufficient and untrendy as they may be fanny packs work wonders. The less you wear, the less you have to carry once you strip down. Nudity in the streets close to the event is tolerated so you can ride clothing optional to and from the event either from a home if local or from your car if from out of town. Parking within blocks of the event is no problem for out of towners.
2. The Pre and Post Parties are the Best Part The event ends down on the waterfront in Portland and the after party is right there, other rides end in parks or event areas but the after parties are all easy to find and at the end of the ride because party goers want to stay naked…and do all night long. The events start in parks and large event areas as well and pre event parties are also easy to find. The pre event festivities include body painting, bike decorating or maybe just water sprinklers for all to run through nude. For the best time plan on arriving 2-3 hours early and partying til the sun comes up.
3. You Actually Don’t Even Need a Bike The word bike is in the event name but does not restrict the event to conventional bicycles. Skate boards, unicycles, roller blades, roller skates, hand bikes and even tall circus bikes were there, many people just walk or run the event nude. Speed walking the event seemed popular for middle age and older folks. There is a little bit of everything as long as it does not have a motor. If someone can’t physically complete the route they can pick any spot along the route to see and enjoy the event. Spectators line both sides of the entire route…over half of them are naked. Houses along the ride route boast open windows, porches and balconies littered with nude onlookers.
4. You Will Be Filmed More if You Are Partially Covered The fear of your little friend, big tummy or uneven boobs being on the internet is there, we even felt it but the fear is somewhat unfounded. Nudity is not allowed on social media beyond the butt and mild breast images and news outlets of all sizes and genres want their stories shared. For that reason they look for shots where in focus riders have their jewels covered. I wore a large fanny pack, you can spin a fanny pack for frontal coverage or to the side for full nudity. At one point a photographer in the park asked if I could spin it to cover my package and shot her picture from behind my wife. We woke up to being in a circulating photo story from the event because “just enough” was showing.
5. Costumes/Themes are a Hassle My wife was planning on riding as nude Wonder Woman with her costume done in body paint. She did her face make up on the road there and we had planned on painting her body in the park. Just minutes after arriving we scrapped the idea, she wiped the face make off and we gave the body paint away. You’re going to be riding bikes with thousands of people in summer heat…think simple and practical.
6. Don’t Fear Your Body I’m not talking about body shaming, I’m talking about the fear of being around a sea of naked people with every person there knowing just how exited you are to be there. Even my wife feared this, we are proud to have zealous libidos but she didn’t want to be anywhere close to a guy who’s sporting an erection. It’s a very real fear but completely unfounded. My soldier never got one single urge to stand at attention. There is nothing sexual about these rides.
7. Don’t Fear the Seat Bike seats and nudity just don’t mix, there are even jokes and clichés attached to nudity and bicycles provoking unpleasant thoughts. However, that’s all they are is jokes and thoughts while the actual experience is very easy and comfortable. The event offers seat covers for small donations so you can look at your bike seat the same again the next morning.
8. Don’t Fear Logistics The ride is easy. I’m considered old, overweight and out of shape by any standards and I barely broke a sweat. You will have no problem knowing the exact route (which is never disclosed until start) and starting time…just follow the huge crowd of naked people, you’ll have a great time.
9. Don’t Fear the Law Not only will police not arrest you for nudity on or near the route they are seen in great numbers at every turn and junction. The Portland police we saw were top notch and even gave us directions back to our truck when we left the after party.
10. Don’t Fear the Fear, Embrace it. There is no place or moment to steal away and strip, you’ll be naked before ya' know it. It just feels right once you arrive at the sea of nudity. You will see every shape, size, color and type of naked body there is and they will see you. This is a life changing event that will change the way you look at people…in a good way. More importantly, it will change the way you think others look at you…in a good way.
It changed the way this man looks at humanity…in a good way.
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